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The pair sit there totally nude, the silence punctuated only by Diane’s strained conversation-starters, i.e., “Oh, is your mom German?” Then they both give up and go straight to bed, hoping for a better tomorrow.

But first, let’s meet last night’s lovelorn hopefuls: Diane, who seems plain old pretty nice and really normal. He’s shy and muscly, and readily admits that he would marry and impregnate a girl he met on the show. Keegan’s catch of the day is woefully small, and he says sadly, “He looked bigger under there, didn’t he?She shows up later with a shiner and a thirst for revenge.She bullies “Johnny Football Hero” (Keegan) until everyone except manly Scott slinks away to hide.Is it possible that this ankh-man is the ride-or-die dude Katie needs?“Either way it’s a porno, no matter what we do,” she murmurs by way of pickup line.

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I fell into a deep hypnosis listening to him talk and talk while stress hives slowly crept up his back. Back at the Jungle Villa, things go from porno to PSA as Keegan turns into a total alpha-male meathead.

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