Would it always seem like the dreaded settling, a lesser version of what one should truly want?
The rise in interest in open relationships has been chronicled in countless print and online outlets over the past five-plus years ( The recent media glut notwithstanding, an important voice has gone missing: that of the extracurricular partner, the lover, the girlfriend or boyfriend—people like Ivy.While "couple privilege" is a concept meant to be resisted by people trying to ethically navigate nonmonogamy, I also saw it as the larger macro lens through which the media reports on these relationships: always through the eyes of the couple, with a tinge of titillation (ethical cheating, sexy!) as well as anxiety (but what about the dying institution of marriage? It's an angle that only serves to reaffirm the preeminence of coupledom in American culture, not disrupt it."You're telling her that she's good enough to fuck but not good enough to be seen in public with.You're telling her that you love her—but not as much as you love the social privileges of seeming to be monogamous," Veaux writes on More Than
In the open-relationship world, there's a term for this: "couple privilege." It was introduced to the lexicon by Franklin Veaux, coauthor, with Eve Rickert, of 2014's .