Of course we were trained and conditioned over years to think and feel that something was wrong with . We hold on to these learnings (and often generalise significant ones to all people) for life in some cases. Psychotherapy books written on this subject are a 2-man lift.Getting rapport with your disowned part Why are therapists and friends in such a hurry with us to validate the positive, and sidestep or deny the negative?For the client I "speak the unspeakable" and "think the unthinkable" (from the tenets of Provocative Therapy) if I have excellent rapport.The effect of stimulating the negative is intense and constructive--the paradoxical miracle of the energy therapies.Obviously a part of them does not accept themselves, as Steve Wells has recently explored in his posts on self-acceptance.They cannot validate their self and being--it would not seem to be real or true--if it includes all the disowned and awful stuff.
A friend of mine says wryly: We mistakenly conclude that our mistakes and faults should never exist. When a couple fights in the counselling room, I don't stop them!
I think the great challenge is in validating the "dark side": recognising what it means, and acknowledging its legitimate presence and linked suffering.
Few people consider that their mistakes are what they can truly call their own!
Although I think the effects of the life-denying part of any person can never be completely eliminated, with the right approach they shall not dominate.
It's lonely being your own therapist, so if you find you are climbing a personal Mt Everest--get some help.
Where is it written that those we love will never hurt us? (Mafia Self-Help Manual) In the clinical work Steve Wells and I have been doing, to "stimulate" negative beliefs with humour and paradox (while assiduously using EFT), we have noticed disproportionate benefits and results, particularly the relief from a subtle pressure to think in only one way (i.e.